Bollocks.
Hey mate, I promise you that I am not a meglomaniac... But the site is down.
They're as mad as a bulldog shitting tacks.
They're all mouth and no trousers.
He's got the personality of a bloody shoe.
I’m a dumbass.
Our asses will be as flat as a pool table.
He's got a foetus walking around with an umbilical cord for a project manager.
I’ll be all over that like a duck on a june bug.
It’s rare as rocking horse shit.
I'm scared, my ass is going quarter - dime - quarter - dime.
I'm an old fart.
You and your mother just green-fucked me.
I'm going to get absolutely annihilated.
I've been shot twice, stabbed twice and blown up once.
Gonna go get the four S's - shit, shower, shave, and shampoo.
I'm losing the will to live.
It smells like farts in here.
The client needs a personal touch.
I'm so hungry I could eat a scabby horse.
We saved them 42% of their day.
What are you tossers doing?
I'd rather teabag a mousetrap than sit in a meeting with him twice a week.
Mum, stick the rashers up your bum.
The arse is not connected to the brain.
Not while I have a hole in my ass.
I'm walking around the house like creeping Jesus.
She's an herbivore.
I'm not teaching a duck to suck eggs.
She's like a fart in the wind.
Whole Foods, you get it all buy the vaseline.
My uncle should of died before he was born.
Fuck me gently with a crowbar.
Not as long as there is a hole in my arse.
Bless his cotton socks.
My VPN connection is up and down like a whores drawers.
They looked at me like I had just shot their pet poodle.
You may as well put your balls in a vice, because it's tightening...
I can multitask - I can read the paper and take a dump.
They will probably cock it up.
What are you worried about, the color of your socks?
You never tell a woman it looks like the bruises on her arse are happening everytime she steps off the curb.
This baby blue Apple watch is not my girlfriend's.
I have to go back to the hotel and wash out my asshole.
When my hair was long, it looked like an explosion in a mattress factory.
It's as rare as rocking horse shit.
If there is a happy hour, I'll be there.
I quit.
If I fart in my apartment I'll get a concussion.
I look like an explosion in a mattress factory.
Build and release sounds like a porn movie to me. They should change their name to the ejaculators.
He's a foetus.
My nuts are in the sling for it.
I own it, my nuts are in the sling for it - I can do what I want.
I spend so much time on the can, I'll read the whole thing tonight.
It's the cleanest part of my body. I can clean it as fast as I want to.
I'm going to push him down the escalator. I used to kill people for a living.
It works at 2%, but farts at 3%.
Product is all up my bum.
I’m chuffed to bits to see the hounding is starting to work.
I don't care if we have to pee out a window as long as we get it to work.
Oh God, I need Vicodin in Patron is what I need.
It goes up and down like a whore's drawers.
I'm having a hot flash... I think I'm going through menopause.
I don't want this to just be a grin and fuck.
I almost went arse over whatsit this morning.
Shirt's a bit tight. My nipples are sore. Gonna have to put pasties on over lunch.
I couldn't wait in line long enough. I need access to a crapper.
The dogs bollocks.
I'm knack weed but I think it was worth it.
I'm as tight as a camel's ass in a sandstorm.
I'm stubborn as a fucking mule.
He is a fucking peasant.
They make me feel about as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit.
He is all mouth and no trousers.
It's a bit of water.
They don't know fuck-all about that.
He is a yard dog.
Cheers.
The whole thing went tits up.
Every night I get home and I have palpitations.
It'd be fast, like greased weasel shit.
No. You don't want to do that, not while you have a hole in your bum.
Bloody Muppets. Everywhere.
Nice to bloody meet you.
I'm wired to the point where my arse is puckered.
It's worth as much as a fart in a pair of pajamas.
It's like a monkey fucking a football.
They're castrating me.
It's like a hornets nest... of shit.
They are all Bloody Muppets.
It so cold in Minnesota you have to knock the dog off the lamp post.
He had a face like a smacked ass.